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A Conversation With MCI

8/3/2006

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Operator 1:
Hello. Thanks for calling MCI. How can I help you?
 
Me:
Hi. I wanted to set up a plan with long distance included.
 
Operator 1:
Sure. Are you a business?
 
Me:
No.
 
Operator:
Okay. I only deal with businesses. Let me transfer you to a
residential operator.
 
Me:
Sure. Thanks.
 
Operator 1:
Is there anything else I can help you with?
 
Me:
Nope. That's all.
 
Cue fifteen minutes of elevator music and MCI advertising.
 
Operator 2:
Hello. Thanks for calling MCI. How can I help you?
 
Me:
I wanted to set up a plan with long distance included.
 
Operator 2:
Sure. Residential?
 
Me:
Yes.
 
Operator 2:
Okay...
 
Ten minutes of information-giving later.
 
Operator 2:
And that's all. You're all set. Your new number is
(773)568-6644. Your new line should start up in 5-10 business days. Just in
case, is there a number we can reach you at? A cell phone or a work number?
 
Me:
Yes. I don't have a cell phone. But, my work number is (312) 944-1030.
 
Operator 2:
Okay. We'll call you if anything goes wrong. Is there anything
else I can help you with today?
 
Me:
That's all. Thank you.
 
Operator 2:
Have a good day.
 
Me:
You, too.
 
12 days pass. A technician stops in. Messes with the box for twenty minutes
and leaves the line having only accomplished putting a tag on our box after
some electronic reading revealed that it was for MCI. He apparently worked
for AT&T. 2 more days pass.
 
Operator 3:
Hello. Thanks for calling MCI. How can I help you?
 
Me:
I placed in an order two weeks ago. And it's not working.
 
Operator 3:
We're sorry about that. Can I get your phone number?
 
Me:
I actually don't have it with me. I'm calling from work on my break.
 
Operator 3:
Do you have your account number?
 
Me:
No. I don't have any of that information.
 
Operator 3:
Can I get your name?
 
Me:
Yes. Shane Portman.
 
Operator 3:
Thank you. And your city and state?
 
Me:
Chicago, Illinois.
 
Operator 3:
Okay, just one moment.
 
Me:
Sure.
 
Operator 3:
Let's see. You don't seem to be in the system. P-O-R-T-M-A-N?
 
Me:
Yes.
 
Operator 3:
I can't find you in the system. Are you sure you've got an
account set up?
 
Me:
As far as I know. I set it up two weeks ago.
 
Operator 3:
Did you get anything in the mail?
 
Me:
No. No one told me I was supposed to.
 
Operator 3:
Okay. P-O-R-T-M-A-N?
 
Me:
Yes.
 
Operator 3:
One moment.
 
Me:
Okay.
 
Operator 3:
We have a Portman in Dupage.
 
Me:
I live in Chicago.
 
Operator 3:
Nope. I can't find it.
 
Me:
I don't understand. Maybe it's under my girlfriend's name. Ruth Gamble?
G-A-M-B-L-E. I put her name on the account, too.
 
Operator 3:
Let's see. Yes. Here we are. Okay well, it should be working.
 
Me:
I know. But it's not.
 
Operator 3:
Can I get your address?
 
Me:
Sure. 729 1/2 W. Briar St. Apt H3 Chicago, IL 60657.
 
Operator 3:
Oh, I'm sorry this account is from Minnesota. Must be a
different Ruth Gamble. Doesn't look like you're in the system.
 
Me:
I don't understand.
 
Operator 3:
Would you like me to set you up with an account?
 
Me:
No. It's already been set up. A technician came by and knew that I had
an account with you.
 
Operator 3:
Mmm. Okay. Um. Oh. My computer froze up. Can you call back
tomorrow?
 
Me:
No. I don't have a phone. I'm calling from work and I can't keep doing
this. I need to get this fixed as soon as possible.
 
Operator 3:
I'm sorry. I do apologize, but our system is down.
 
Me:
What?
 
Operator 3:
My system just went down. I can't help you today. Could you call
back tomorrow?
 
Me:
The system just went down in your entire company?
 
Operator 3:
Pardon?
 
Me:
Could you transfer me to someone else?
 
Operator 3:
I could transfer you to my supervisor.
 
Me:
Thank you.
 
Operator 3:
Before I do, is there anything else I can help you with today?
 
Me:
No.
 
Ten minutes of elevator music and MCI advertising.
 
Supervisor:
Thanks for calling MCI. How can I help you Mr. Portman?
 
Me:
I don't understand. I put in an order two weeks ago and nothing's
working.
 
Supervisor:
We're sorry about that. Can I get your phone number?
 
Me:
I don't have it with me.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. We can't find you in the system. If you could find your
number...
 
Me:
I have no way of getting my number. It's at my house. I'm at work and
there's currently no phone at the house.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. Can I give you a call back in a couple of hours?
 
Me:
Um, I guess.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. Can I have your cell phone number or work number?
 
Me:
I don't have a cell phone. My work number is (312) 944-1030. I think I
gave it to you already.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. I'll give you a call back in a couple of hours.
 
Me:
Okay.
 
Supervisor:
Before I go, is there anything else I can help you out with?
 
Me:
No. That's all.
 
Two hours later.
 
Me:
Hello. Kid Kare.
 
Supervisor:
Hello, this is MCI calling. Can I speak to Mr. Portman?
 
Me:
That's me.
 
Supervisor:
Okay Mr. Portman. Do you have your account number with you now?
 
Me:
No. I'm still at work.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. Well, I don't know. You're not in the system.
 
Me:
That doesn't make sense. A technician stopped over from AT&T and knew
that I was an MCI customer.
 
Supervisor:
Hmm.
 
Me:
I don't understand.
 
Supervisor:
Oh wait, I'm sorry. Here you are Mr. Portman. 729 1/2 W. Briar
Apt H3 Chicago, IL?
 
Me:
Yes.
 
Supervisor:
Sorry about that, Mr. Portman. Your number is (773) 668-6644.
Make sure to have that with you at all times.
 
Me:
Sure. I would remember it easier if I could actually use it.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. It looks like we had a couple of access problems. Looks
like there was another line installed at one time.
 
Me:
Yes. That was the former tenants’, but that's been out for almost a week
now.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. Right and then it looks like a couple of technicians came
out and were unable to get access to the box.
 
Me:
Okay. That's probably because I work during the days. I can give you the
number to the supervisor of the building. He lives there. He'll definitely
let them in.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. What I can do is update all this information and give you
a call back tomorrow after I've had a chance to look at all of your
information and I'll give you an update on everything and we'll get this
whole thing fixed for you.
 
Me:
Thank you so much.
 
Supervisor:
Is there a cell phone I can reach you at?
 
Me:
I don't have a cell phone. That's why I need this line. I can give you
my work number, but I've already given that out. It's (312) 944-1030. I'll be
there from 8:30 am-2:30 pm tomorrow.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. I will call you at about 9 am if that's okay with you.
 
Me:
That's fine.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. I will note that in the system and call you tomorrow so
you can avoid the long wait. Before I go, is there anything else I can help
you with?
 
Me:
No. That's all.
 
Exactly 9 am the next morning.
 
Me:
Hello. Kid Kare.
 
Supervisor:
Hello. Can I speak to Mr. Portman?
 
Me:
That's me.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. There's good news. Your line was actually put in last
Friday.
 
Me:
Yeah, that's when the technician came over. But, there's no dial tone
anywhere in the apartment.
 
Supervisor:
Okay. Well, let me transfer you to the technical support and see
if they can work that out for you. Before I go, is there anything else I can
help you with today?
 
Me:
No, that's all.
 
Fifteen minutes of elevator music and MCI advertising.
 
Technician:
Hello. MCI. How can I help you?
 
Me:
My line is not working.
 
Technician:
What's your number?
 
Me:
(773) 668-6644.
 
Technician:
Looks like your line is already in.
 
Me:
I know but it's not working.
 
Technician:
Okay, what I'm going to need you to do is unplug your phone now
and wait ten minutes. Then, plug it back in.
 
Me:
I can't now. I'm at work.
 
Technician:
What time will you be home?
 
Me:
Around 3/3:15.
 
Technician:
Okay. We can do it then. Is there another number at this address
we could call you at to verify how the test went?
 
Me:
No. I don't have a cell phone.
 
Technician:
Okay. Well, this should work. If it doesn't it might be your
phone. But, please call us if it doesn't.
 
Me:
Thank you. I will. It's not my phone, though. It's worked in every other
phone jack outside this house. I tested it yesterday.
 
Technician:
We'll figure it out then. Before I go, is there anything else I
can help you out with?
 
Me:
No.
 
The next day.
 
Operator 4:
Hello. Thank you for calling MCI. How can I help you?
 
Me:
I'm calling because my phone line isn't working.
 
Operator 4:
We're sorry about that. Can I get your phone number?
 
Me:
Yes. It's (773) 668-6644.
 
Operator 4:
And your name?
 
Me:
Shane Portman.
 
Operator 4:
Are you a business Mr. Portman?
 
Me:
No.
 
Operator 4:
Okay. I don't have the proper equipment. So, I'll transfer you
to residential.
 
Me:
Okay.
 
Fifteen minutes of elevator music and MCI advertising.
 
Operator 5:
Hello. Thank you for calling MCI. How can I help you?
 
Me:
My phone line is not working.
 
Operator 5:
We're sorry about that. Can I get your phone number?
 
Me:
Yes. (773) 668-6644.
 
Operator 5:
And your name?
 
Me:
Shane Portman.
 
Operator 5:
Okay, Mr. Portman and what seems to be the problem?
 
Me:
I put in an order two weeks ago and there's still no dial tone.
 
Operator 5:
Did you get anything in the mail?
 
Me:
No.
 
Operator 5:
Okay. Let me see. It looks like your account is cancelled.
 
Me:
What? By who? How is that possible? I just talked to someone yesterday.
 
Operator 5:
Would you like to set it back up?
 
Me:
No. It shouldn't be shut down.
 
Operator 5:
Let me transfer you to referrals and accounts and we'll figure
it out. Before I go, is there anything else I can help you with.
 
Me:
NO.
 
Fifteen minutes of elevator music and MCI advertising.
 
Operator 6:
Hello. Thanks for calling MCI. How can I help you?
 
Me:
I want to know what's going on with my phone.
 
Operator 6:
Sure. Could I get your phone number?
 
Me:
(773) 668-6644.
 
Operator 6:
Your name?
 
Me:
Shane Portman.
 
Operator 6:
What seems to be the problem?
 
Me:
I don't have a dial tone and haven't had one since I ordered the line
over two weeks ago.
 
Operator 6:
We're sorry about that Mr. Portman. Have you gotten any mail
from MCI?
 
Me:
No.
 
Operator 6:
Are phones in your area working?
 
Me:
What?
 
Operator 6:
Are phones in your area working?
 
Me:
I don't understand what that means.
 
Operator 6:
Are phones in your area working?
 
Me:
You mean like neighbors or something? As far as I know, they are. I can't
really call them to find out for sure.
 
Operator 6:
Okay. Well, we're working on your problem. It seems we're
having some technical difficulties. Your line should be ready in 5-7
business days.
 
Me:
Five to seven days?
 
Operator 6:
Yes.
 
Me:
That'll be over three weeks since I ordered this.
 
Operator 6:
And we're sorry about that, Mr. Portman. But, we are working on
it.
 
Me:
No. I can't wait that long. I want to cancel.
 
Operator 6:
Sorry to hear that, Mr. Portman. You'll get a letter in the mail
in 5-7 business days and if you choose to, you may cancel then.
 
Me:
I have to wait to cancel. I can't cancel now?
 
Operator 6:
No. You'll get a letter in 5-7 business days and can cancel
then. Is this all right?
 
Me:
I guess it has to be.
 
Operator 6:
​Okay. Before I go, is there anything else I can help you with
today?
 
Me:
no.
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